


Lost In Between

by thatoneuselesswriter



Series: Loving you was hard [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Amnesia, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lying probably, M/M, Maybe some angst? idk, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pinkberry, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26767270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneuselesswriter/pseuds/thatoneuselesswriter
Summary: Lies. All nothing but lies. She lied about everything but can it be fixed? Find out what happens to Brooke and Chloe as they go through life without each other.Sequel to Stay and Never let go!
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Christine Canigula/Jenna Rolan (implied), Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski (Implied), Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell (implied)
Series: Loving you was hard [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951093
Kudos: 3





	1. Intro

Chloe: Brooke! 

She was too late. The car had already hit her. She ran to Brooke's side as people around her started calling the ambulance. She held Brooke's bloodied body as tears started to fall again. She blamed herself for everything that had happened right now. She never thought it would go this far. Ambulances started to arrive and took Brooke and allowed Chloe to ride with them. 

Chloe waited outside the surgery room when their friends came in. She saw them and started to cry again. Jenna was angry at what Chloe had done but when she saw her friend crying, her expression soften and hugged Chloe. 

Jenna: Sshhh, let it out. It's okay

Slowly the others followed and joined in the hug. Chloe calmed down and released herself from the hug. She knew she had to tell them all that had happen and so she did. 

Jake: Oh yeah, we know. 

Chloe: W-wha-? How? 

They all pointed to Michael who just gave her a comforting smile. 

Chloe: So, I know you're all mad. 

Rich: of course, you've hurt her but you're still our friend Chlo 

Chloe: Thank you for understanding guys

-Time skip a few hours-

They were still waiting when a doctor went out of the room and they all stood up and waited for the doctor to speak. 

Doctor: She's alright but she might suffer from amnesia. Her head was really damaged from the impact. 

Christine: Can we see her? 

Doctor: You can. She's actually awake now but I recommend that you all come in one by one. 

They thanked the doctor and proceeded to go to the room. Chloe stopped and everyone looked at her. 

Chloe: You all go in first. I just need to ready. 

Jeremy: Okay, but remember Chlo, it's not you're fault what happened to her okay? 

Chloe: okay, I'll meet you all inside. 

They nodded at her and went inside. They saw Brooke, sitting on the bed and looking at the window and looked at them. 

Brooke: Hey guys! 

Christine: Brooke! You're alright! 

Jenna: Wow you still remember us huh? 

Jake: We thought we lost you! 

Rich: Yeah, we were so scared

Jeremy: But we're glad you're alright. 

Michael: You know she's been worried about you. 

Brooke looked at him confused. 'she? Who's he talking about?', she thought. 

Brooke: What? 

Brooke was confused. Her memories were a bit fuzzy and she only remembered her friends but she felt that there's someone she forgot. They looked at each other in confusion until the door opened and they turned to see who it was. It was Chloe. Chloe stood there, looking straight at Brooke, ignoring her friends sad expressions. She had different wires and tubes attached to her. 

Chloe: Brooke! I'm so glad you're alright! I'm so sorry for everything

'How did this person know me?', Brooke thought. Her face was familiar but when she tried to remember, her head started to hurt. 'I can't remember her but her voice is so familiar'. It was a voice that Brooke knew all too well but can't remember whose voice it was nor what did that person looked like. She looked at the person in front of her and looked at her friends behind, giving them a confused expression. 

Brooke: Um, I'm sorry but who are you?


	2. Words Left Unsaid

Little bits of her memories came back and it was all the same. Brooke can see a tall brunette woman crying, laughing, or even smiling at her. She wanted to know who it was but sadly she couldn't see her face nor her voice. She fiddled with the ring on her finger still thinking about why Chloe had the same one as hers. Was Chloe special to her? She didn't know but she had a feeling it was.

As weeks pass by, Chloe started to hang out with her friends again. She started to go to their weekly sleepover, and now it was her turn to host it. Her apartment was a mess and so, she started cleaning. It has been a while since she cleaned up the apartment because she didn't even bother to do it back then. If she were honest, the only place that was clean was Brooke's room. She managed to finish cleaning when someone knocked on the door.

"Hold on!", she shouted as she ran to her room and changed her clothes since it was a bit dirty. She put on some random pants and a shirt that she could find and opened the door and revealed all of her friends. She ushered them in and eventually sat down. After arguing what movie to watch, they settled on a good action movie. They played games, ate dinner, and eventually fell asleep, well except for Chloe. She stood up, unable to sleep again, and went inside Brooke's former room. Inside was pictures of the two of them, in which she didn't bother to take down. She looked at each photo as she thought back on the memories with a sad smile on her face.

Brooke wasn't asleep at all. She couldn't sleep for some reason but then she heard footsteps. She looked around and saw Chloe go inside a room. To her, the apartment was oddly familiar, like she had lived there but can't remember anything. She knew she shouldn't do this but here she was, outside the room that Chloe went in. She slowly opened the door and saw the tall girl smiling sadly, tears falling from her eyes as she looked through the photos.

 **Brooke** : Hey

Slightly startled by the voice, Chloe quickly wiped the tears and turned around just to see Brooke standing by the door.

 **Chloe** : O-oh, u-um, h-hey there

 **Brooke** : Are you okay?

 **Chloe** : I-I'm completely fine. Why are you still awake? Come in and sit

Both girls sat down on the bed. Brooke scanned the room and wondered why it was so familiar to her. It was her first time coming to the apartment, right?

 **Brooke** : I couldn't sleep, What about you?

 **Chloe** : Just thinking about something

 **Brooke** : Oh well anyways, I wanted to ask you if that's okay?

 **Chloe** : Sure go on

 **Brooke** : Where did you get that ring?

Brooke pointed at the ring that was on Chloe's finger and then pointed to hers.

 **Chloe** : This? I-um, someone g-gave it t-to me

She didn't believe that. She really felt like the ring was important and has a meaning behind it. Instead saying that about the ring, Brooke nodded as she spoke.

 **Brooke** : Oh, okay. What are you thinking about?

 **Chloe** : It's nothing. It's just something stupid

 **Brooke** : Come on, Chloe. You can tell me

Chloe smiled at the mention of her name. She hesitated to tell Brooke, _'Fuck it',_ she thought.

 **Chloe** : You see there's this girl and she's just so beautiful

Brooke looked down, trying not to look dissapointed _('What?')_ . She was confused. Why did it hurt? It's not like she likes Chloe, right?

 **Brooke** : Oohh, tell me more about this girl that caught your eye

She said excitedly, the feeling in her chest still not going away. Chloe smiled as she continued.

 **Chloe** : She has this smile, the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen and yet she never knew how her smile made someone feel.

Brooke continued to listen, ignoring the pang she felt in her heart.

 **Brooke** : Is there anymore?

 **Chloe** : Uh yeah, she has this beautiful oceanic blue eyes that I could stare at forever. It's just, I love her so much and she never knew.

 **Brooke** : I'm sorry Chloe, I hope you get to say it to her.

Brooke replied. Chloe smiled sadly at her. _'If only you knew that it was you that I was talking about',_ Chloe thought. She stood up and looked back at Brooke, offering a hand out.

 **Chloe** : Thank you, well how about we go back and sleep?

 **Brooke** : Yeah, that would be nice.


	3. Swirling Through My Mind

Love, something Chloe had felt since she had met Brooke. She wasn't gonna lie, she still loves Brooke. She felt bad about what happened to her and blamed it all on herself. She did cut herself again and was told not to but she can't take the pain anymore, so she continued. She hid it pretty well, some of her friends were worried when they asked her if she was okay.

One thing Chloe hates was going to classes. Don't get her wrong, she loves to listen yet there's a part of her that doesn't and it seemed that she embraced that part of herself. Here she was, wearing a hoodie to cover the scars, walking towards her room until she bumped into someone. The impact almost made her fall but she managed to catch herself. Chloe was ready to argue to the person, she looked up and stopped as she saw the person was Brooke herself. The same Brooke who was on her mind 24/7. Brooke looked up and was about to apologize when she saw Chloe.

 **Brooke** : Oh my, I'm so sorry, Chloe

 **Chloe** : No, no don't be

 **Brooke** : I wasn't even looking, I was in a hurry, I'm sorry

Brooke kept apologizing. This made Chloe feel bad. She kept saying to the short girl that it was alright. Eventually Brooke stopped apologizing.

 **Brooke** : You sure that it was alright?

 **Chloe** : Yes, Brooke, it's alright.

Brooke froze as she heard the nickname. Chloe was confused until she realized what came out of her mouth.

 **Chloe** : Oh my God, I'm sorry, I-it just came out, I'm really sorry Brooke

 **Brooke** : Oh, no, I-I actually like it.

 **Chloe** : Wait, really?

 **Brooke** : Yeah, it kinda feels good? Idk but I guess I'll see you around?

 **Chloe** : yeah, I'll see you around, Brooke

With that both girls said their goodbyes. Chloe was now sitting inside the lecture room. Instead of paying attention to the lecture, her mind was filled with thoughts about a certain blonde girl. As she was listening to the class, her phone lit up, signifying a notification. It was Jenna.

_Jenna: Hey Chloe!_

_Chloe: Hey, what's up?_

_Jenna: we were planning to go out tonight, wanna come with?_

_Chloe: Sure! I'd love to_

_Jenna: Great! I'll text you the details later, byeee_

_Chloe: Okay, bye_

Chloe placed her phone down and continued to listen until the class ended. She decided to walk around the campus. Her phone lit up again.

_Jenna: Right, we'll meet up at_ **_(insert place)_ ** _at 5pm. Sound good?_

_Chloe: yep, see you there!_

As she reached the open field of the university, a blonde girl sitting under a tree caught her attention. She stopped and hesitated if she should approach her. In the end, she did. She tapped Brooke's shoulder, which made Brooke jump and turned towards her.

 **Brooke** : Oh, hey

 **Chloe** : Hey

 **Brooke** gestured Chloe to sit down, in which she did.

 **Chloe** : So, how was your class?

Brooke: it was okay, I guess. Oh by the way, did you get Jenna's text?

 **Chloe** : Oh, yeah I did

 **Brooke** : So, um, a-are you coming?

 **Chloe** : I guess? I actually don't have a thing to do right now so I guess I'll come.

 **Brooke** : That's great!

The two continued to talk until Brooke had to go to her class.

 **Brooke** : I gotta go, I'll see you later?

 **Chloe** : Yeah, I'll see you later.

Chloe watched as Brooke left. She sighed and looked up at the sky.

 **Chloe** : When will I tell her?


	4. I wish you knew I love you

She stayed there on the grass, laying down, for God knows how long. She knew she missed her classes for the afternoon. She didn't really care. Looking at her phone, it was already 2 in the afternoon. 'How long was I here for?' she thought. Chloe stood up, grabbed her bags, and went straight to the apartment, deciding to skip her classes. "I'm ho-", Chloe managed to stop herself as she realized she was the only one living there. She sighed and sat down by the kitchen counter and scrolled through her phone to pass the time. It was nearing five, Chloe stood up and grabbed her phone and purse, and started going to the said location.

She smiled at the sight of her friends waiting for her. Chloe walked up to them, greeting each one, realizing that she was the last one to arrive. After arguing about what to do, they decided to watch a movie. Chloe went in first, wanting to just sit down and watch the movie. A few seconds later, the rest of her friends went in and sat in pairs, Michael and Jeremy, who sat in the front near the screen, Jake and Rich, who sat in the back, and Jenna and Christine, who sat in front of Chloe. She then heard someone sit by her. She knew it was Brooke. She turned to Brooke and smiled at her, who also returned the gesture.

 **Brooke** : I hope I can sit here

 **Chloe** : Oh, of course, y-you can

 **Brooke** : Thanks

She turned to look at the movie playing in front of them. If Chloe was honest, she wasn't paying attention to the movie, instead, her attention was on _her_. As the movie played, Chloe kept glancing at Brooke, taking in the blonde's features as if she needed to renew the ones in her mind. She hadn't realized the movie ended until Brooke turned to look at her and smiled. Chloe looked away, embarrassed that she was caught staring.

After the movie, they decided to find a place to eat. They picked out a fast-food restaurant. As they ordered their food and sat down, they began to talk to one another.

 **Michael** : So um Chloe! How are you?

 **Chloe** : Huh? Oh, I'm good.

She said as she pulled the sleeves of her jacket down, which Michael noticed but decided to brush it off and talk to her later.

 **Michael** : I'm glad, I haven't been able to talk to you since we both have classes.

 **Chloe** : Yeah, How are you doing?

 **Michael** : Oh I'm doing great! Hopefully, I get to pass my exams.

Chloe nodded and was about to speak until someone spoke up.

 **Brooke** : Are you really okay though?

Everyone stopped talking as they heard and turned to look at her and then back to Chloe.

 **Chloe** : I-I t-told you I'm okay!

 **Brooke** : I can tell that you aren't getting much sleep and I feel that you're hiding something from us.

 **Chloe** : I-

Chloe couldn't answer. Brooke was right, she couldn't sleep at night but when she did it was only for 3 hours or so. Christine turned to look at Chloe and opened her mouth to speak.

 **Christine** : You know that we're here for you, right?

 **Chloe** :...... I know

Christine noticed that Chloe was fiddling with the ring on her finger. Of course, she knew who it was from. She just didn't know that their friend was suffering.

 **Christine** : You don't have to tell us

 **Chloe** : No no, I should, well you all deserve to know since you are all my friends

Chloe proceeded to tell them everything, how she was struggling to sleep, how she was feeling but she didn't include that she started to cut herself again. Everyone looked at her as she explained. Chloe bent her head down, not wanting them to see the tears. She felt arms wrap around her, with that, she cried even harder. As they ate, they were silent. No one dared to talk. As they finished, Chloe stood up and told them she needed to go home, to which they nodded. Michael stood up and ran after Chloe, who was already outside, and kept calling her name until,

 **Chloe** : what do you want?

 **Michael** : Show me your wrists

 **Chloe** : What?

 **Michael** : Chloe, I know you're hurting, I just want to know if you did it again.

There was no point in arguing with him, Chloe knew that. She sighed and slowly took off her jacket, revealing the bandage that was wrapped around her wrists. Michael then hugged her. Chloe busted into tears again.

 **Michael** : Why?

 **Chloe** : I can't take the pain anymore. I know that I should try and move on but I love her, Michael.

Michael pulled away from the hug and looked Chloe in the eye.

 **Michael** : I know you still love Brooke, Chloe but you gotta stop this. I don't want to see any of my friends getting hurt!

 **Chloe** : I know okay!? I just can't take it anymore, I'm not the same without her. She was my world and now she doesn't even remember me.

 **Michael** : Don't lose hope, Chlo, maybe she'll remember you one day

 **Chloe** : Yeah maybe, you know I told you all that I couldn't sleep?

Michael nodded

 **Chloe** : It was because I couldn't sleep without her, so instead, I go into her room and cry until I get to fall asleep.

 **Michael** : Chloe...

 **Chloe** : I just wish Brooke knew I love her, I just wish she remembers. I know there's hope that she will but what if? What if she doesn't?

Michael didn't answer. So with that, Chloe left, leaving Michael standing there. As he turned around, he saw Brooke standing there, with tears in her eyes. She stared at Michael.

 **Michael** : Brooke?

 **Brooke** : I should've- 


	5. Everything Is Crumbling Down

**Brooke** : I should've told her

Michael looked at her, confused.

 **Michael** : Told her what? What are you hiding from us, Brooke?

 **Brooke** : I didn't really forget everything about her

Michael looked at her, shocked. He was getting angry as to why Brooke didn't tell them or rather to Chloe.

 **Michael** : Why didn't you tell her then!? Why!

 **Brooke** : I WAS SCARED, OKAY! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

At this point, both of them started to shout thus making the rest of the group go out and witness it. They didn't want to get involved, in fear that one of them would get hurt.

 **Michael** : THAT ISN'T THE POINT BROOKE! YOU SAW HOW SHE WAS DOING AND YET YOU CHOSE TO STAY QUIET!

 **Brooke** : I KNOW THAT OKAY! God, I feel awful

 **Michael** : You should be. You knew that she felt awful since you got into that accident and it's been almost 2 years now.

 **Michael** : Why would you even stay quiet about it? Do you not care about her?

Brooke continued to stare at him, tears running down freely. Why _did_ she stay quiet? Was she scared? Did she not know what to do?

 **Brooke** : I-I

She couldn't answer him. Brooke didn't know why. She turned and saw the rest of their friends staring at her, some were worried, some were mad. She did mess up. She walked up to them. Brooke was prepared for what they had to say. What she never expected was a hug, specifically from Jenna. She melted into the hug and cried her heart out as Jenna comforted her.

 **Jenna** : Shhh it's okay Brooke. Let it all out.

Brooke pulled away from the hug, wiping the tears.

 **Brooke** : I guess all of you heard it huh?

 **Jake** : Well, yes

 **Jeremy** : But we understand why you chose to stay quiet

 **Christine** : Still, we're a bit mad at you

 **Rich** : Yeah, mostly what you put Chloe through. Pretending to not remember her and stuff

 **Jenna** : By the way, when did you start remembering her?

 **Brooke** : Well, it started at the sleepover at her apartment.

She then explained to them what had happened that day.

 **Brooke** : After that, I kept dreaming about her, everything we've done up until the first day of college. Each memory of her appearing in my mind.

 **Brooke** : I didn't dare to tell her so I decided to keep it and wait until the time is right.

 **Michael** : You better tell her, if not I'll tell her myself. You wouldn't want that right?

Michael smiled at her and began laughing which promptly made the rest of them laugh.

 **Brooke** : yes, I know that

 **Michael** : Good! You better not let her wait or even get worse!

 **Brooke** : Yes sir!

She said as they began to laugh again. Brooke already forgave Chloe a long time ago, but was she ready to tell Chloe? She convinced herself she needed time. So she did. 2 months has passed and still she didn't tell her yet. Don't get her wrong, she wants to. Chloe on the other hand is trying to get better. Her friends check up on her every week, which she is thankful for. She still hasn't stopped cutting herself. It was the only way the pain would decrease for her. To people, it would seem that she was alright but to her, she wasn't. Chloe started to sleep in Brooke's room. Most nights she can sleep peacefully but sometimes not. She needed someone and that someone was Brooke.

Chloe still held onto the hope that Brooke might remember her. It would be a miracle if that would happen. It was nearing, Brooke and Chloe's 4th anniversary if they hadn't broken up, well technically for Chloe they didn't. She decided that instead of staying in the apartment, crying in Brooke's room, she'd go out. Try to live in the moment. As Chloe was changing, she heard a knock at the door. _'Who would that be?'_ she thought to herself. The person kept knocking at the door until Chloe opened it, revealing the mystery person.

 **Chloe** : Yes? Oh, hey Brooke...

 **Brooke** : Hey, Chloe

 **Chloe** : What are you doing here?

 **Brooke** : I wanted to talk to you

 **Chloe** : How about we go to the park? I was gonna go there but since you're here, wanna come with?

Brooke smiled and nodded.

 **Brooke** : Sure

The park was not that far from the apartment. Thankfully, there were not many people in sight. They eventually sat down by a bench. Brooke was scared but she had to tell Chloe or she'll regret it.

 **Chloe** : So, what was it you wanna talk about?

It was now or never.

 **Brooke** : Chloe, I


	6. I Can Only Handle So Much

**Brooke** : I-

 **Chloe** : You what?

 **Brooke** : If I tell you, please don't be mad at me

 **Chloe** : I promise, now what is it?

Brooke took a deep breath. Was she nervous? Well of course.

 **Brooke** : I'm sorry I hid this from you, Chloe

Chloe looked at her confused _. 'What did she mean?'._

 **Brooke** : I remembered you since the sleepover at your apartment.

Did Chloe hear that right? She wasn't hearing things right? Brooke remembered her.

 **Chloe** : What?

 **Brooke** : Yeah

Now that Chloe thought about it, Brooke remembered her for a year so why did Brooke only tell her now? She didn't know how to feel.

 **Chloe** : Why

 **Brooke** : What?

 **Chloe** : Why did you only tell me this right now?

 **Brooke** : I-

 **Chloe** : You saw how I was doing and yet you chose to stay quiet and look. Did you even care about me?

 **Brooke** : Of course!

 **Chloe** : THEN WHY BROOKE? WHY!

At this point, tears were running down on Chloe's face as she stood up. She waited for Brooke to answer. She wanted to know why. Chloe wanted to know why Brooke did it.

 **Brooke** : I was scared okay!

 **Chloe** : Why would you be scared? You know it's easy to just say, 'Hey Chloe I remembered you!', and yet you didn't.

Chloe grabbed her phone and began to walk away as she said,

 **Chloe** : I want you to know that I still love you but I don't know anymore and I don't know what to do.

 **Brooke** : Chloe wait! Let me explain!

Chloe stopped and turned to look at her.

 **Chloe** : Explain? I don't want your explanation. Goodbye Brooke

Chloe started to walk away but Brooke kept calling her. It was useless, Chloe was already gone. Yep, she really did mess up. After the incident, Chloe ended up ignoring her. Each time Brooke would spot her in the hallway, Chloe would go the opposite way. It stayed like that for a month. Their friends noticed the change of atmosphere between them but no one dared to interfere, well except for Michael.

It was a Saturday and Chloe asked Michael if he can come over, to which he said yes. He wanted to ask what happened but at the same time, it seems like a bad idea. Michael arrived at Chloe's apartment and knocked. A minute has passed until the door opened, revealing a puffy, red-eyed Chloe. Clearly, she had been crying. Michael didn't say a word and entered the apartment and sat down at the nearest chair.

 **Michael** : Hey there Chlo

 **Chloe** : Hi

 **Michael** : How are you doing?

 **Chloe** : How does it look like I'm doing?

 **Michael** : If I'm being honest, you look like shit

 **Chloe** : Wow gee thanks

 **Michael** : Okay, but how are you doing?

 **Chloe** : Worst

 **Michael** : I assume that she told you?

Chloe nodded as she looked down. Michael got up and led her to her room. They stayed silent for a good 10 minutes until Michael spoke up.

 **Michael** : So what are you gonna do?

 **Chloe** : I-I don't know...

 **Michael** : Can I ask you something?

 **Chloe** : Go ahead

 **Michael** : Do you still love her?

 **Chloe** : I don't know anymore

 **Michael** : What did you feel when she said it?

 **Chloe** : Anger? I don't know! But I think at some point I felt happiness? I was happy when she told me that and at the same time angry as to why she waited for 2 years to tell me.

 **Michael** : Do you miss Brooke?

 **Chloe** : I- yes. I feel empty without her. She kept me sane. She was home but now I don't know

Before Michael could answer there was a sudden knock on the door. Chloe got up as Michael followed her. She opened the door only to reveal Brooke, who looked like she had been crying as well. Michael looked at them before deciding to leave.

 **Michael** : Um I'm gonna leave...

 **Chloe** : What?

 **Michael** : You two need to talk.

He whispered to Chloe.

 **Chloe** : Fine, I'll call you later, Michael

 **Michael** : Yeah yeah, goodbye Chlo!

Chloe waved at him as he got out and turned her attention back to the blonde at her door.

 **Chloe** : What do you want?

 **Brooke** : I want to talk to you.

 **Chloe** : Talk? What should we even talk about Brooke? Tell me more secrets you've been hiding from me? Lie to me again? No, not again, goodbye Brooke

Chloe tried to close the door but Brooke blocked it.

 **Brooke** : Please Chloe

 **Chloe** : Brooke please, Just let me be

 **Brooke** : Weren't you happy I told you?

Chloe stopped and stared at her. Tears threatening to fall.

 **Chloe** : Yes, I was

 **Brooke** : Then why are you avoiding me?

 **Chloe** : Why? I'm scared okay! I'm scared that I'll hurt you again. I'm scared that it's another lie!

 **Brooke** : Chloe

 **Chloe** : No stop. I've decided to let you go, Brooke

 **Brooke** : Chloe please don't do this!

 **Chloe** : I'm sorry but I can't and you know that. Please just go, Brooke. Goodbye.

With that, Chloe closed the door, leaving Brooke, crying outside. Brooke began to bang on the door. She wanted to talk to Chloe and she's going to do everything even if she gets hurt in the process. She did regret not telling Chloe the truth.

 **Brooke** : Chloe please, talk to me! Don't shut me out. I know you're hurting. Just please talk to me and let me explain!

It was useless, either Chloe was on the other side of the door, listening to everything she said or she was in her room. Brooke gave up after knocking for almost 4 minutes. Just as she was about to leave, the door opened, revealing Chloe standing there, tears streaming down her face. Brooke stopped and took a step forward towards her. Chloe didn't move and stayed where she was.

 **Brooke** : Chloe

Chloe didn't answer, instead, she stared at Brooke.

 **Brooke** : I know you probably hate me now but let me explain.

She still didn't receive an answer. 'Well here goes', Brooke thought.

 **Brooke** : I didn't tell you because I was scared, scared I'll end up hurting you. I really miss you, Chloe, just please give me another chance

Chloe wiped her tears. She looked down and took a deep breath as she proceeded to look at Brooke. She opened her mouth to answer her.


	7. How can you numb the pain?

As soon as Chloe closed the door, she broke down crying. She could hear Brooke calling her and banging the door. She debated whether she should hear her out or not. _'Fuck it'_ she thought and opened the door. She saw Brooke stopped and looked at her. She didn't say anything instead she stayed where she was as she heard Brooke explaining to her.

 **Brooke** : Chloe

Chloe didn't answer, instead, she stared at Brooke.

 **Brooke** : I know you probably hate me now but let me explain.

She still didn't receive an answer. _'Well here goes'_ , Brooke thought.

 **Brooke** : I didn't tell you because I was scared, scared I'll end up hurting you. I really miss you, Chloe, just please give me another chance

Chloe wiped her tears. She looked down and took a deep breath as she proceeded to look at Brooke. She opened her mouth to answer her but no words came out. She wanted to answer but her mouth didn't cooperate. Seeing as Chloe didn't answer, Brooke decided that she would leave, like Chloe wanted to.

 **Brooke** : It's okay if you don't want to answer and I respect that. I'll just go now and leave as you told me to.

She couldn't keep the tears from coming out as she said those words.

 **Brooke** : Goodbye, Chloe. I hope you'll do well...

Brooke left like she said, never turning back to see Chloe's reaction. Chloe broke down crying, regretting what she had said to her. It hurt, but how can she numb it? She went back inside and to her bathroom, searching for the blade that she had hidden. Once she found it, she started to cut on her wrists, renewing the old ones that had healed and faded. She knew that this wasn't the way to deal it with but it was the only way she knew that it would numb the pain. She continued on her thighs and cutting it deeper than the others. She let the blade go and watch as the blood ooze from the wounds she caused. She smiled as her eyelids became heavy, maybe this was the way she would die. Maybe.

As Brooke went down from the building, she saw Michael standing there, as if waiting for her and she thought that he left. Well, she was wrong.

 **Michael** : So?

 **Brooke** : What?

 **Michael** : Where's Chloe?

Michael panicked slightly when he saw Brooke come down, tears streaming down her face. If they didn't get back or even talk it out, maybe something happened to Chloe after. He felt something wasn't right, so instead of waiting for Brooke to answer, he ran upstairs, going back to the apartment. Brooke followed him from behind, confused as to why Michael suddenly rushed upstairs. The door was left open, so they entered. Brooke looked around the apartment and saw that it didn't change one bit, well except for the garbage lying around. Michael on the other hand rushed to the bathroom, hoping he wouldn't see what he thought it would be.

 **Michael** : Chloe?

He went on and saw her, on the floor, blood everywhere. This wasn't happening, right? He didn't see Chloe on the floor, unconscious. He managed to convince himself that it was real. Slowly, he took his phone out and dialed 911.

_**911: 911, what your emergency?** _

_**Michael: M-my friend is unconscious and is hurt... Please get an ambulance now!** _

_**911: sir, we need the location and I need you to check if there is still a pulse.** _

Michael checked and was relieved to feel a pulse but was getting weaker.

_**Michael: There is but it's getting weaker... Please help her!** _

Michael proceeded to give the address and hung up. He held Chloe close to him.

 **Michael** : If Only I stayed behind, then this wouldn't have happened to you.

Not a minute has passed Brooke came and stopped in her tracks as she saw Chloe. A new batch of tears came out.

 **Brooke** : N-no! This is all my fault! If I didn't then she wouldn't be-

 **Michael** : Hey hey, don't blame yourself okay?

Michael comforted her until the ambulance arrived. Thankfully both of them were allowed to ride in with Chloe. As they arrived at the hospital, Brooke can't help but remember the last time Chloe was at the hospital, and now Chloe wasn't here because she got shot but she was here because of her, because Brooke had hurt her.

_**FLASHBACK BITC-** _

_**"B-Brooke-", Chloe blurted out, eyes threatening to fall. As Brooke saw Chloe on the ground, she immediately held her and yelled for help. "Stay with me Chloe, don't close your eyes please!" Brooke says as she begins to cry. "B-Brooke, I-I lo-love y-you", Chloe manages to say as her eyes fell shut, "N-no! Chloe!". Not long after, the paramedics arrived and took Chloe and allowing Brooke to ride, seeing as she won't let go of her.** _

_**END OF FLASHBACK** _

Both of them were told to stay outside as they needed to stitch Chloe up. After a minute or so, the rest of their friends came. Brooke looked at them and Jenna opened her arms as Brooke got up and hugged her. They were waiting for almost an hour or maybe more. They didn't really pay attention to the time. A doctor came out and walked up to them.

 **Doctor** : Are you all here for Chloe Valentine?

 **Christine** : Yes, we're her friends, how is she?

 **Doctor** : Luckily, she survived. She had lost a lot of blood but we were able to take care of that.

 **Jake** : When can we see her?

 **Doctor** : I'll come back and tell you. I'm the meantime, how about you all eat since it's almost lunch now.

 **Jeremy** : Thank you, Doc

 **Doctor** : Anytime!

The doctor went back in.

 **Rich** : So does anyone want some food? I'll buy it!

 **Jake** : I'll come with

 **Jeremy** : Yeah me too

They all agreed on buying McDonald's. As the three boys left, Michael spoke up.

 **Michael** : Brooke

 **Brooke** : Yeah?

 **Michael** : Please don't blame yourself, you know how Chloe really deals with pain right?

 **Brooke** : I know, it's just that I feel that it's my fault

 **Christine** : Hey, no, it's no one's fault okay?

 **Jenna** : Yeah, I agree. Brooke, please stop blaming yourself.

 **Brooke** : Okay

Not long after, the three boys arrived with some food and they ate it all quickly. Not an hour has passed, the doctor that talked to them earlier went back out, his face showing a small smile as he saw them.

 **Doctor** : She's doing okay now

 **Michael** : Can we see her?

 **Doctor** : You can but she's sleeping right now so I suggest that you should keep quiet

 **Brooke** : Thank you doc

 **Jenna** : What room is she in?

 **Doctor** : I'm just doing my job and her room is at B23.

They thanked the doctor and went o the said room. They opened and saw Chloe, tubes attached to her but not too many. They let Brooke and Michael sit down at her side as the rest of them stood around. They never saw Chloe look so weak but here she is, on a hospital bed. She looked so peaceful. The rest of them talked amongst themselves as they slowly started to leave.

 **Jeremy** : I'll meet you at home?

 **Michael** : Yeah, I love you

 **Jeremy** : I love you too

Now it was just the two of them, Michael and Brooke. They didn't know how long they were at the hospital but as far as they knew it was already dark out. Both decided to just stay and watch Chloe.

 **Brooke** : I'm sorry

 **Michael** : For what?

 **Brooke** : For lying to you all, I knew that I should've told you but I was scared

 **Michael** : It's okay, I already forgave you

 **Brooke** : Thank you, Michael

 **Michael** : What are friends for?

Brooke smiled and the two began to talk, Brooke apologizing in between and Michael telling her it was alright. Both of them fell asleep on Chloe's side, hoping when they woke up, Chloe would wake up too.


	8. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke: I know they say it's not my fault and you'd probably say it too but I do feel it really is my fault.
> 
> Brooke: I just want you to wake up, please

Darkness

Pitch-black darkness.

She didn't know where she was but the last thing Chloe remembered was blood, oozing out of the cuts she made. She never wanted to do it but the pain was too much. She was glad she did it but was it right? Chloe knew if she died she'd leave behind her friends and even Brooke. Brooke, the light in her darkness, whose smile could light up an entire room. She was mad Brooke lied to her yet why was she mad at herself? She never forgave Brooke but deep down she wanted to.

It has been 20 hours since Chloe was sent to the hospital. Brooke never left her side, wanting to be there when Chloe woke up. Between those hours, Michael left, needing to go home and sleep properly but not before promising Brooke to bring her some clothes and possibly food. She looked at the girl in front of her, different wires attached to her.

**Brooke** : I know they say it's not my fault and you'd probably say it too but I do feel it really is my fault.

**Brooke** : I just want you to wake up, please

She couldn't stop the tears that were beginning to fall. Brooke had thought if she hadn't lied or she told Chloe as soon as she remembered then maybe this didn't happen to them.

Darkness was still what Chloe sees, well that is until she saw a faint light in the distance. Being the curious girl she is, she went closer to that light and managed to hear Brooke. It broke her heart that the girl she loves was crying. Yes loves, Chloe still loves her, even after all that has happened between them. She wanted not to. She wanted to hate her, to resent her but there is always a part of her that still loves that girl.

Light

A blinding light

In front of her, she slowly went in as the light engulfed her body. Brooke was still at Chloe's side, staring at the girl in front of her. Chloe then opened her eyes but closed them again, the light above her almost blinding.

**Chloe** : Fucking light, why does it always be this bright!?

Brooke sat there, shocked. She saw how Chloe woke up in front of her. She tried speaking but her mouth didn't cooperate. As Chloe was able to adjust, she turned to the blonde girl beside her, smiling softly as she said,

**Chloe** : Hey Brooke, how are you?

With only those words, Brooke then lunged forward, engulfing Chloe in a hug, tears falling down as she said the words,

**Brooke** : Oh my god, you're okay, Chloe, you're alright!

**Chloe** : Yeah, I am

Brooke pulled away from the hug, causing Chloe to frown but quickly smiled. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until Brooke spoke up.

**Brooke** : I should probably go and tell the doctor.

She was about to stand but a hand stopped her.

**Chloe** : Please stay?

**Brooke** : I- Alright...

Thoughts swirled in Brooke's mind, scared of what Chloe might say to her.

**Chloe** : I'm sorry

Those words took her by surprise. Why was Chloe the one apologizing to her? It was her fault after all.

**Brooke** : No, _I'm_ sorry, I mean it. I still feel bad that I lied to you for almost 4 years and that made me realize my mistake. I still love you but it's okay if you don't I understand after all that you've gone through.

She looked down, refused to look Chloe in the eyes. Chloe smiled softly and lifted Brooke's face up, making her look at Chloe. She wiped the tears that were flowing down her face.

**Chloe** : I'm not going to lie, it hurt what happened to you, it felt like you died or that I lost you. To be honest, I tried to move on, going on dates here and there but I can't because how can I give someone my heart when you already have it? You will always have my heart, Brooke.

**(A/n: Why the heck am I crying because of this?)**

More tears were flowing down Brooke's face as Chloe said those words. She didn't expect Chloe to say something like that but she did.

**Brooke** : Even after I fucked everything up? Even after everything I did? The lies and arguments? If I were you, I'd hate myself forever and never speak to myself again

**Chloe** : I could never hate you, I tried to but I couldn't. I love you too much to hate you, Brooke. Even after everything you did, I'd still choose you any day. I know that everything that has happened made us fight and everything and has affected our relationship but I can't afford to lose you. Ever. As I said, you already have my heart and nothing can change that and hope that I have yours too

**Brooke** : You always did have my heart Chloe, ever since high school, I don't know what I'll do without you, probably be miserable. Can we start over?

**Chloe** : At what point?

**Brooke** : Before this, my accident, everything. How about the start of college?

**Chloe** : I'd love that Brooke

Chloe pulled Brooke in a hug with the intention of never letting go. She just gave them a second chance, a second chance to be happy again. This was what she always wanted, to be in the arms of the person she loves, that makes her feel safe and happy. Chloe's sure that nothing can be in their way, well for now but she feels everything will be alright from now on. For now, it's just the two of them, Chloe and Brooke, just two ordinary girls, starting over and they'll be alright.


End file.
